THE WEIGHT OF RAIN

                                                    THE WEIGHT OF RAIN

 

        Rain is measured in inches, however, it is also reported by how heavy it is raining.  When I lived in the world of rain, and changing seasons, Cleveland, Ohio, I would sit on the front porch ( it was also the land of porches),  and like most kids , wonder about my place in life.  My Grandma Alberta, and my eight year old self, would have long debates on life from two opposite sides of it. One day she stunned me with how I had to "uphold the race".  How that weight was on my eight year old back, and I would have to carry it as long as I lived. Whoa!  How did I get that Job?  Did she mean me only, which she did, but also everyone else who was young and  black?
     From that awakening, I was now a member of, "God, don't let him be black" club, every time there was a news report of some terrible crime,  The sigh of relieve when it wasn't.  The deep pain in the center of your body when it was.  At eight, I wondering, what did the race do ,that was so horrible, that it needed to be "upheld".  A long time ago, did we raid Europe and steal the people, ripped them from their loved ones and take them to Africa, enslave them, rape their women and beat the soul, and spirt, and hope , from the men.  Get rich, for centuries, on the back of their slave  labor,  and once freed,  denied them a decent living and existence.   No, it wasn't that.
      I carried that rain,  until I sat on a grassy knoll,  on the campus of Fieldstone Academy,  in New York City, and listen to Malcolm X speak.  Growing up without a Father, and having just a  few black men who had very little time, working their two jobs, it was like being struck by lightning,  to have this man look at me, and tell me I had VALUE.   He looked me dead in the eyes.   I didn't have to uphold shit.  There was nothing wrong with "me".  There was nothing wrong with my skin color, my hair texture, my big lips and broad nose.  Nor, was my view of the world and its History, wrong.  There was nothing but hard working men and women in my life and they were called lazy?  They supported their families with a bunch of nothing jobs and very little hope.
       He said that, of course you will think that you are crazy, when every cell in your body is telling you that what they want you to believe, worship, and surrender to, was a lie.  So, you worship and believe harder and the pain gets worst, and the crazier you get.  Why not get high, some say.  But they don't care that you are high, as long as you stay out of the way.  As long as you carry the weight of rain and don't rock the boat, they will even sell you the dope,
       If you don't feel me yet, its like a man or women, waiting at home, when here she comes in at 3:30am with a story you want to believe with every fiber in your body, and when you do, nothing will be right for you, ever again.  Because you will be insane.
     

IT'S THE MONEY.

   
When I first came out to LA in the second golden age of Televison, there was MARY TYLER MOORE, and four camera Sit-Coms.  Warner Bros and Universal Studio's had all of the Drama shows on television.  David Kelly was still a lawyer and Dick Wolf was just a pup. I would wonder how these old fellows who I was meeting with could be so settled in their ways. "No, son TV is done this way".  They were old movie guys who had gotten rich with the small screen formula.  America knew who the "bad guys" where.  They always wore black hats.  They had hair on their faces.  They were never, never blond. They were only interested in booze, broads, and money.
      Behind these guys were a young hot shot crew of young excecutives and writters, producers who were Rock and Rollers, and had change on their lips and minds.  There hair was a little longer and their suits a little tighter and they wore their "hipness" with pride.  Some of them even knew a few colored people personally. However, when they did take over, TV stayed the same. "Dig it, TV is done this way."  These were the pre WWII kids and they surfed, drove sports cars, and were urban cool, like the detective shows and game shows and soap's about the rich
      Waiting in the wings were the rich hippies,  the Disco babies, the political aware Limo gang to now, the "hip, urban cool,"we don't care if you're Gay, because we're all a little Gay", bunch. But with little exception, TV STAYS THE SAME.  However we do have scores of ways to deliever this sameness to the world, with high teck gadget thingies.
       As with Actors and Writers and other Artist I have known, you hear in their early years how they want to change the world and then, a little later, as the world becomes more comfortable for them, another tone.  Like the old time network exec's found out, this job pays a lot better than pretty good.  The system allowed you to spread the blame around so nothing can really stick to you, and when you leave, you leave with a big bag full of money.   So, who in their right mind would want to change that? And now with major corporations taking over the entertainment industry it's even easier. They can make the same show over and over again and just change the name and faces.  All the Corp. cares about is the spread sheet.  How much did you make this quarter?
      I say all of this to say, if Olivia Benson, on LAW AND ORDER, gets raped one more time on that show, and don't quit that dumb job, I will screem!